turning the pages

As I look back at my first year of college, I smile. I had so many "firsts" in these last two semesters. I won't name them for the sake of time, because I should be studying right now. God is bigger than finals though :)

After the summer ended last year, I was definitely ready to start the next chapter of my life. Everything was lining up splendidly, and exactly how I wanted it to. Then something changed, and I realized that my plan wasn't really happening the way I wanted it to. It did hurt, but I see so much clearer now. I know that God's plan for my life is grand, and that it's perfectly fine not knowing what it's going to be. I just have to take it day by day, for I'm not promised tomorrow.

Through everything that happened, one thing remained true. God's love has always caught me. At the end of the day I can always look up and know God is still good, and that's comforting. I can fall back and rest in His love--not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. I've learned to pray differently. I now pray bigger, bolder, and with greater faith. Even my largest desire looks so small to Him, so why not pray big? I've learned to get up every morning, and ask God to simply get me through THIS day. To not worry about my future or even what the next day holds for me.

This life is so short! Take joy in where God has placed you now instead of waiting for where you want to be.

As Virginia approaches, I know that I'm turning to another chapter and leaving behind the old. I'm turning the pages of my life. I'm ready to go serve, love, and be used. I'm quite nervous (to be honest), but I can rest knowing that it'll be God working and not me. I'm going to miss my friends and family so much. This will be the first summer not being around Denton, but change is good. I can't tell you how weird it's going to be not leaving for Austria at the end of July, like I usually do. However, God knows what He's doing, and I'm just as excited to share Jesus and my life with Virginia!

I think the beauty of Christianity is that God chooses to use the lowest of people to shine His light through. Even in the midst of our sin, He still stretches out His loving hand. He would be perfectly just and fair to kill us all now, but He chooses to use us instead. I don't see how someone could NOT want to be a child of our God.

why worry?

I've come to think that I don't give Him enough praise. He's deserving of all that I own, all that I make, all that I say or do. I know, I truly believe that.....so why is it so hard to trust Him sometimes. Why do I constantly find myself anxious or worrying. At this point in my life, I have A LOT of decisions to make. What degree I want to purse, what college to get that degree at, how to spend my summers, or even what to get at the coffee shop everyday.

Why worry? That question gets thrown around in my head a lot; however, continually seems to be unanswered. I know that I shouldn't be anxious all the time, but whenever decisions come up in my life, I tend to think about them too much. I tend to not trust God as much as I should. We should live our lives knowing and believing He is not going to let us fall, that we're safe in His hands. He's deserving of our unashamed love and trust simply because....

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves"
- Col 1:13

I was listening to a John Brown sermon on a podcast, and he was talking about a friend of his who lives his life by answering this question: What does faithful look like? I found that life becomes a whole lot easier if you simply try and answer that question. What does being faithful look like? Is it for me to stay here in Denton or go to Virginia? Go to college in this or that town? Do I need to serve here or there? Our goal in life should be to glorify God in everything we do, in who we are, in how we speak to others, in everything...When major decisions appear in my life, my first reaction should be prayer, but a lot of the time I simply think about it too much and drive myself completely insane! This is right where Satan tries to get me to fall; he gets in my head and stirs up my thoughts. A couple of months ago my friend and I were trying to answer this question, "How do we, or how can we guard our hearts". I found that the best way to answer it, and that question of why we needn't worry can be found in God's very own words.....of course :)

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by PRAYER and SUPPLICATION with THANKSGIVING let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will GUARD YOUR HEARTS and your minds in Christ Jesus."
-Philippians 4:6-7

I know for me personally, I used to read this verse and simply not see what I do now. This verse does not say may guard your heart, or sometimes guard you hearts. The peace of God WILL guard your hearts---praise God! My friends this is a promise, that if we give our requests/concerns to God with thanks and prayer, He will guard your heart. Ahhh I like that...I'm personally going to try and live by this verse a lot more than I have been.

My prayer now is that prayer would be the first thing I run or cling to.

I want to end this by writing this verse. I know there are many reasons to not worry; however, this one comforts me more than any.....by far!

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN MANY SPARROWS."
-Matthew 10:29-32


amen---so why worry?